The Ugly Christmas

Two Sundays ago, I cried at church. I guess “cry” isn’t a strong enough term for the catharsis that happened in one of the rooms of our children’s area…maybe “wept” would be a better description. 

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A Lesson in Gratitude

I’d like to think I’ve lived long enough now that I really understand the cycle of things. I don’t mean that I can intellectually discuss “life” or that I might mentally say “this is how things are,” but instead, that deep within my soul, I possess true comprehension, acceptance — peace, even about how it all works. I’d like to think that by now, in my mid-30s, I wouldn’t be surprised or concerned by the largely unsettled or unresolved status of different aspects of my life. 

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Where Fears Are Stilled

I sometimes find myself idly wondering how long the actual incident lasted. 7 seconds? 12? I know in moments of crisis, time seems to stand still, and those critical seconds of a traumatic experience seem to stretch much longer in our minds than they do in reality. 

Looking back, I know it didn’t last as long as I felt it did. The number of seconds could probably be shown with the ten fingers of my two hands. I spend 8-10 seconds everyday performing an infinite variety of different tasks, and very few of those short bursts of time ever impact me beyond the moment. But in this case, it’s incredible how a single digit number of seconds has been imprinted upon my memory and impacted my life forever. 

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#MeToo: A Darkness to Light Story

We had a clearly defined relationship, one with uncomplicated spoken and unspoken rules. There were straightforward roles, obvious boundaries — he the superior, I the subordinate. Around twice my age, he held a position of respected authority, trusted by others and expected to operate within the boundaries of that position. 

Except that he didn’t. 

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I Wouldn't Change a Thing

I can still recall the conversation with vivid details. I sense the pounding of my broken heart and remember the confusion in my muddled mind. I hear my weary voice as it trembles, and my body literally feels the heavy weight of physical grief as I remember my words. 

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