When I first started this blog several years ago, my mission was singular: exploring, defining, and articulating how to live a genuine life as a Christ follower. I thought I knew what that meant. I focused on right belief and an accurate understanding of the Gospel. I felt (and still do) there is often a gross misrepresentation of what becoming a Christian truly entails, that our culture sometimes reduces Christ’s offer of salvation to one simple, magical prayer. 

I had also seen too many trusted and love people fall hard because of hidden sins made known, and I longed to encourage others to live vulnerable, honest lives. Why conceal what destroys us, when we can make it known and find freedom? Be honest, I reasoned. Live vulnerably, I challenged. Chase genuine, I called.

“Vindicate me, Lord, for I have walked in my integrity, 
And I have trusted in the Lord without wavering.”

What if it could be said about us that we are people of integrity? What if those we know or encounter walk away with a shake of their heads and a simple, “Now, he is a person who trusts the Lord,” or, “She is a woman of unwavering faith in God”?

Two Sundays ago, I cried at church. I guess “cry” isn’t a strong enough term for the catharsis that happened in one of the rooms of our children’s area…maybe “wept” would be a better description. 

I’d like to think I’ve lived long enough now that I really understand the cycle of things. I don’t mean that I can intellectually discuss “life” or that I might mentally say “this is how things are,” but instead, that deep within my soul, I possess true comprehension, acceptance — peace, even — about how it all works. I’d like to think that by now, in my mid-30s, I wouldn’t be surprised or concerned by the largely unsettled or unresolved status of different aspects of my life.